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Level 9 Bitches

beat that Downey JR!

Pce

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Hammer's crying

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The shoes that once saved my ass from beatdowns ('We've never heard of those shoes before.Are they fucking Bi-Way shoes? No, I got them in the states. They gotta be good then') have now gone in some bullshit 'minimalist stylist' shiza direction. Giant Liger Hot Item of the week fsure.

Disappointment

pCe

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Goddess Bunny

Yo muthafuckkkkkkkkkkkkas!!!

It's been a while since the Condor flapped but let me catch up! First off....

Booya!

As soon as they won I immediately was all

Next up...

There hasn't been too many Spandex Spicollis all up in my grill. If anything it's been Ol' Ninnies bitching about the Condor, all 'you're not supposed to be here' bullshit. Well you're 82... you're not supposed to be here on Earth all alive and shit.

Anyway...check this shit

And just when you were all set up to jack yourself to sleep...

pCe!

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Gottlieb Pioneer Shenanigans

Each time the little flap comes into contact with one of the vertical bars a loud clicking sound is heard and 2 bumpers light up. This constant rotation doesn't stop until the machine is shut off.

Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

Still Condor

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It's been a while but the Condor's still flapping. It's been a very Seattle-esque day outside so there's been no E-Bike action---which sucks BUT that's one less 'this ISN'T a fucking motorcycle' arguement--which is good. The 'this isn't a fucking a motorcycle! quit your bitching you old t-rex' count is already at 2. And it's not even June yet (on Monday it is).

While you wait for the next epic Condor post, check this croosh shit out:

http://website13156.com/?p=165

http://33third.blogspot.com/

pCe

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The Rose City Red Condor Totally Understands O.J.

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....and so does the Huckster.....
(from eonline)

Continuing this week's celebrity trend of speak first, think later, Hulk Hogan has revealed a whopper of a complex during an interview with Rolling Stone, saying that his messy split from wife Linda, and her subsequent shacking up with a friend of her teenage son's, made him feel downright O.J. Simpson-esque.

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like O.J., cutting everybody's throat," he said, per the New York Post. "You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife…

"I totally understand O.J. I get it."

pCe

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Sham-POW!!

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Some shit just in BLAY-ZIN hot for the muthafuckin BUZZ BIN courtesy of Dat Kid Thret. You know that muthafuckin P-I-M-P that sells the SHIT out of the Shamwow on its infomercial...well he seriously went P-I-M-P and laid the Sham-POW on a ho. Peep this:

Seriously....with the Britney Spears headset and such charisma..how the fuck did you NOT want to just pick up da phone and scoop like a fiddy case of ShamWows. He might be the greatest salesman of our generation. He sold us on the mighty fact that ShamWow is the Thor's Hammer of all things shamm. He sold us on the fact that you can wear a Spears Headset and not be linked as a Halo Chump getting chumpatized. He ALSO sold us on the fact that he don't like people chomping on his tongue. That's his weapon for serious ShamWow upselling. It'd be like that time when Pootie lost his belt. Sine your pity on the runny kine is right muthafucka! I'm not sold on the fact that it's him on that dj muggshot. Is he pulling some wack Benjamin Button type randomly aging shit? Real name, Vince Shlomi...or was it Vince Schlaffi?

pCe!!!

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HI MOM!

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Random Rose City Red Condor Factoid: this kid loves most shit Buffalo

• the Buffalo Wide Rights
• the Juice (see above). *Side note...REVENGE VERDICT...STILL not fucking cool*
• Buffalo '66
• Celino & Barnes
• Wu-Gambino Ford (hi mom)

Now most fucks that are down with the Wu-GBF know that the 'hi mom' in parenthesis is as necessary as the 'F'n' in Guns N Roses. Case in point:

Nov 17
2008
Josh & Matt's Potpourri - Road Trippin'

Hello Friends,
I am going to Buffalo today to catch the Monday night football game and I was thinking there are some great things south of the border that they just don't have here. Now don't get me wrong, Matt and I love Canada more than anything but there are a few things the Yanks know how to do really well.

Here are our faves.

Josh's
1. Target
2. Denny's
3. Tailgating
4. Cherry Coke
5. The I-90 Karate and Fire Works Depot.

Matt's
1. Cereals (Trix, Cookie Crisp, Fruity Pebbles)
2. Detroit Red Wings hockey
3. Target
4. Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio
5. Lockport Gambino Ford (Hi Mom)

Well, I will say that I was in shock and awe then immediately 'lizzing' (see latest 30 Rock) when I fucking came across this lil heartbreak kid of an online article:

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Hi (Bye) Mom! - Gambino Ford Closing (hahhahahah Bye Mom)
The Buffalo News is reporting that Gambino Ford on Rt 78 in the town of Lockport is closing.
Gambino Ford in the Town of Lockport is closing, under a program Ford Motor Co. is using to consolidate its dealer network. The dealership, located at 6157 S. Transit Road, will probably close its doors next week, owner Patrick Gambino said Tuesday. “The offer was on the table for any dealer in the metro [Buffalo] area to raise his hand,” Gambino said. “They’d like to close more.” However, Gambino said the Ford incentives to sell a dealership are now off the table. Other area Ford dealers bought out the Gambino dealership, Ford corporate spokeswoman Marisa Bradley said. The terms were not disclosed.
Mr. Gambino has taken a Ford buyout offer under its dealership consolidation plan. For example Ford has 4,000 dealerships to Toyota's 1,000. Sales profits spread around 4X the number of dealers make for weaker dealers overall. Especially in today's world of consolidation and high volume - low per piece profit. I always expected some other Ford dealer would go first, like the one up by 78 and 104 since Lockport is a more central location. But I also thought Gambino could be one of them since the # of vehicles in the lot had drastically reduced since the late 90's/early 00's.Gambino was the first dealer I ever noticed to give little tag lines in their adds. "...Come on down. Hi mom." At least 10 years before Mr. Fucillo brought his "Huuuuuugggggggeeeeea" to this part of the state. I bought my first vehicle from Gambino back in 1998 and it was my first experience in Lockport (living in Lancaster at the time). Heading to a mountain bike ride I swung in to look at a vehicle in the used lot. That '97 F150 4x4 gave me 155k miles before I sold it due to gas prices and some parts starting to wear out. 5 days of price dickering gave me an OK deal for my first ever vehicle loan. I miss that truck ;)

I was hoping one day to buy my first Denali from Wu-Gambino Ford (hi mom) and have sex on the reg. Single tear.

pce!!

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Piss T

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The Bird had sent me this croosh clip and like most shit on YouTitty it's the fucking peanut gallery shit that makes me bust 1 rib ROFLing. The most recent post (as of now) on that clip's forum by schenkelB is on point. Make sure to check out 'bigwhitebear92's post (the third post before the schenkster's) for the total goomba icing on the cake.

pCe!

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Sex On The Reg

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Not ONCE did that muthafucka Kenny Powers let me down. 1 thru 6 were totally fuckin croosh.
From 3 minutes 30 seconds to 4:40 of this clip is probably one of my fave tv moments. Fucking Stevie Janowsky.

"Me on the other hand, I got the glory. I get the fame. The money. The Jewels. The cash. The Denali. Gettin drunk on the reg. Fuckin good times on the reg. Yachts on the reg. Sex on the reg- basically all the shit that most men fantasize about".

The best is the fucking IMDB forum debate over what is meant by 'the reg' and if it is 'reg' or 'rag'. Either way, Ashley Schaeffer is losing money right now.

pCE!

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Rose City Red Condor vs SARS

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As 'Anonymous' pointed out, this shit needs to be updated more. That is as obvious as a Saigon whore being the one to bite the end of your nose off. It's been a while since some Red Condor shenanigans and with the booya spring about to happen that shit will all change. While I'm suffering from SARS, congested as fuck, enjoying the MoviePix presentation of UHF AND DIRTY WORK, the Condor's being charged and the Spandex Spicollis are wiping the shmegma from their short shorts. Till I'm SARS free....

pCE!!!!!

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What's Mine Is Theirs

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It seems that every jabroney (including the rose city condor) and their mother's mother is on WasteBook FaceBook and has about 15 gigs worth of webcam glamour slut shots uploaded. As of Feb.17th 2009 all of those gems are now the property of Facebook.

from MadeByMark

February 17, 2009
Are You Owned by Facebook?

Facebook (very quietly and deceptively) announced changes to its terms of service yesterday, tossing in this grabby,
greedy, over-reaching clause:
"You hereby grant Facebook an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to (a) use, copy, publish, stream, store, retain, publicly
perform or display, transmit, scan, reformat, modify, edit, frame, translate, excerpt, adapt, create derivative works and distribute (through multiple tiers), any User Content you (i) Post on or in connection with the Facebook Service...."
In other words: as of yesterday, anything you post to Facebook
-- your photos, your videos, your thoughts, your status updates, your ideas, your documents -- becomes the property of Facebook ... forever.
What's more, Facebook can use your ideas, information, and images in advertising. Oh -- and they can sell all those things to third parties, too. And you? You'll never see a dime ... because the minute you post something to Facebook, it belongs to the company, forever, and they can do with it as they please. I never visit Facebook directly ... but all my MadeByMark.com entries and Twitter "tweets" are automagically replicated there. Until they revise their terms of service, though, I'm shutting these feeds off ... simply because I don't ever plan to grant a company unlimited permission to use anything I've created, in whatever way they see fit, world without end, amen.Your ideas and photos may have zero commercial value in the future ... but if they do, you (not Facebook!) should own them and you (not Facebook!) should profit. Your content should always and forever belong you to ... and companies unwilling to abide by this simple rule of thumb do not deserve your support.

I fucking put a lot of time and effort into uploading 8 gigs worth of Indonesian tranny mail bride photo slidesows. And to think that FaceFuck Inc can capitalize off that shit......"Shhheeeeeeeeeeeeeit"

pCe

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this is for the lone Russian

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So upon checking out my Condor Stats, Yolanda Vega is telling my wack ass that one Russian checked out http://www.ebikeniagara.blogspot.com/. In honour of this unknown stalin,er, stallion, i offer this as a token of my appreciation for all of those in Drago Land.

Date: September 2004
Name: aimeelynn9296
Question:
Hi Dolph! I've been a fan of yours ever since Rocky IVeven though I had a big crush on Carl Weathers, whose character you killedin the film. But you looked so good, I had to forgive you! Anyway, Ihave two quick questions. First of all, I can tell from all yourschooling that you're well-educated. But is it true that you have agenius-level IQ? It seems too good to be true for one man to be so veryintelligent, talented, athletic, AND fine as hell! All this leads to mysecond question.Are you available? If not, do you have a brother who is? If so, feel free to visit me in Nashville, TN USA for some real southernhospitality! Just kidding (well, no not necessarily (smile)).Anyway, good luck with "The Defender". I'm sure you're an excellentdirector as you seem to be great at everything you put your mind to! Ihope you will stop by some of the US talk shows to promote it!Love ya,Aimee
DL:
Hi Aimee,No I have a genius level IQ. Whats that? No just kidding& Thank you for forgiving me killing Carl Weathers. Thats very grand of you!

pCE!!

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The New 'Douche Bag'

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Douche Bag was a huge diss back in the day. Then like clear Pepsi, it got totally peaced out. Now it's back stronger than ever before. Appearing all over tv shows and 'the silver screen'. Well I'm about to flip that shit Larry. It's played out straight up son. 'Douche Bag', 'bag of douche' (and my fave) 'douche rag' are the Neo-Geo console to my new PS4. Listen up CW writers, watch it here it come now....so long 'douche bag'....wasssup 'JOHNNY KOTEX'. Who cares if you're a bag that is full of douchey solution?!?!!!? The bag's emptied, cleansed of the vaginal margerine (yes folks, Vagerine!) and the bag is then good for something useful like holding a handful of micro machines that are about to be thrown all over to the floor to thwart some Pesci look-a-like house invaders. Really, it's a compliment.

"fuck you're life douche bag".

"Well, i'm a bag that is actually helping this lady remove scum from her front bum, so I guess my life really IS good. I am truly helpful"

BUT Imagine being a fucking Kotex crammed up in Oprah's minjie for like 2 days fucking straight??!??!?!? You're head first jammed into the batch snatch just absorbing all of that Mott's clamato that Aunt flow is just throwing at you. You're stuck in there for a fucking goooood period of time literally red faced (puns intended!). And then what good are you? You're fucking trashed amongst muff shavings and Garfield nacho bags. First we fiesta THEN we siesta!!! I'd rather be a bag over a Kotex anytime. BUT overall I'd rather be this dude

NOW THAT'S A KOTEX!!!

pCE!!!

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Perfect Nipple Placement

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Friday, February 13th was a fucking totally full out drooling everywhere trying to bite their own ear off retarded day for this kid at work. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it made perfect sense to catch the Michael Bay Remake (rebayke if you will) of Friday the 13th.

It wasn't the oh so scary date that made sense to catch that shit but the total retardation. The only credit I give Bay is for having a hand in Bad Boys 1&2. That's it! I don't think I've ever laughed so hard and been so confused/disgusted at what I was witnessing before my eyes. And i've seen a terrabyte's worth of fucking totally wack chi shit (onscreen AND in the real world).

Take the cliche jibs of 'Can't Hardly Wait' mix it with the script writers of Dumb and Dumberer trying to pull of their best attempt at Kevin Smith/Judd Apatow humour, throw in some pretty decent kill shots (that totally pose some questions....Jason is also a fucking hawkeye of an archer?) up the ante on the obligatory gratuitous nudity (is there such a thing as too much tit?) combine it with a ton of bong fuelled tard shit from YouTube and you ALMOST have an idea of what you're in for. To sum it up: shit was too damn ridiculous even for a Friday movie. I don't really include Jason X and Freddy vs Jason as part of the series. To me, this shit is to the franchise as to what Halloween 3 was to the series.

I'm just waiting for Bay to remake a Halloween where Meyers totally shanks some skank from behind with a Wii nunchuck all the way thru her chest and then continues to lead that chump Liugi to MarioKart victory.

I should have watched the remake of the Hitcher and THEN go check this shit out. Then I would have been mad stoked.

The best lines in the movie (which also prepare you for what's in store) are the following:

"your tits are stupendous"

"you have perfect nipple placement"

"your tits are just so fucking juicy dude"

While I acknowledge this is a remake (mistake) and of course there is the 'it's trying to be it's own movie' bullshit, there is also the 'i want to tell a story that is reworked but gives credit to the original and keeps old and new fans alike entertained' bullshit. Even then this kid has some worthy (and at times Rotten Tomatoes douche style) comments/questions:

joshua-psychoj87

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0758746/board/thread/130760758?d=130760758&p=1#130760758

1. Dialogue/acting was just terrible

"Your tits are stupendous"

"You have perfect nipple placement"

"Where are you gun?"

"I killed them all!"

"Go back to hell and tell mommy hi" (something along those lines)

2. Apparently Jason digs tunnels in his spare time when not killing?

3. After knowing a group of teenagers mysteriously vanished a month and a half ago, I'm going to take a group of my friends to the same area - yeah that's smart.

4. Jason takes captives now? WTF?

5. How did Jason feed said captive? With corpses of past kills? How did she go to the bathroom? Tend to her 'personal' needs when aunt flow arrived?

6. How does Jason have the electricity to power his underground tunnels? If you say he stole the kerosene, then...

7. Why kill the guy NOW because apparently you've been stealing his kerosene from him for awhile. If Jason has been taking his kerosene from him for some time, why does he feel the need to kill him now?

8. It's obvious Trent and his parents have been to the lake house before and have even been on the lake itself (due to the existence of Trent's boat), so why does Jason feel the need to kill them now? Why not before when they first built the house and first went on the lake?

9. Why so much feakin' nudity? I mean, yes the originals had some, but not nearly as much as this, it was seriously ridiculous. I came to watch a Friday the 13th film, not porn.

10. That opening scene with Jason's mother was just awful, enough said. Why couldn't they just use footage from the original F13th film and just recycle it here?

11. How do those two guys towards the beginning know about the weed? If they've been there before and actually planted it, then why didn't Jason kill them off then? Why now?

12. Since the cop knows the guy who's looking for his sister already by name, then you'd think he would have been up and down that area posting his sign of 'Missing Woman' awhile ago, not a month and a half later.

13. Jason is freakin' amazing at archery. Hitting a guy in a speeding boat at least a couple of hundred yards away directly between the eyes, what accuracy! I guess he practices archery in his spare time too!

14. Why in the hell would you go looking for your friend who's supposed to be back already in a creepy tool shed ....alone...with a stupid frying pan as your only defense? Hello man, he's dead.

15. Has any guy felt the need to just all of a sudden masturbate in a friends' lake house (in a living room in front of huge not-covered-up windows at that) while said friends could just come through the door and catch you at any time?!?! He was even expecting his Asian friend to come right back from the tool shed too. I mean seriously, that scene was just so out of no where and this movie could have done without it.

16. You call the police and report there's been multiple murders with the psycho murderer on the loose, and the department sends one lone cop.

17. After Jason shoves your face into 2 bus windows, you come out with only a scratch on a cheek - amazing.

18. No crazy Ralph??!? How can they not have him in the movie?!!!?

And now to flip that shit: 15 reasons why horrorfreak912 loved it

1) The acting was the best we've seen in a Friday film Jared, Danielle, and Amanda did good in the leading roles, which is all that really mattered to me.

2) The death scenes were neat. Some creative ones, some shocking ones.

3) They kept the gore to a minimum.

4) Some of the characters were likable, and when they died, i actually cared (Jenna, Chewie, all of the four opening ones).

5) Jason was *beep* scary again!

6) It had some nice comedic moments.

7) Danielle Panabaker.

8) Some tense moments (the tunnel scene and canoe scene)

9) Jason took a hostage

10) Nice homages to previous friday films (The wheelchair, Whitney pretending to be mama V)

11) The audience i saw it with was really into it. **is that a good sign????***

12) The cinemetagrophy was nice. *hahhahahhahahhahahahhahah*

13) The final scare made me jump. *And what was that??? The notion that Michael Scott Bay-o is remaking Nightmare on Elm street?*

14) The opening was crazy!

15) Jason with the sack was crazy. And so is Whitney off crack!

I have to go water ski while the Hives is just blaring outta nowhere.

pCe

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Ranty Guy

yooooooooooooooooo kidz

The Ebike season has yet to arrive and the Rose City Condor has been all joe slack style. But chew on this while you wait for greatness.

pCe!

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Wa-Keen!!!

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First Woody, now Joaquin. Anutha crooshial brutha!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/11/joaquin-phoenixs-bizarre_n_166229.html

pCe!!!!!!!!!
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Woody Norris

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Mindbottling!

pCe!!!!!!!!!

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Welcome to Blogburger, home of the Blogburger, a can I take your order?

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So what's a blogburger without the obligatory 'Best of..insert year' post??? The answer: a kife burger of a blogburger!

So for now I'll just drop some bits of the best shit of 2008 for the Rose City Red Condor.

Ca-caw!!! Swooping from the bird nest to hit the number 1 spot on the 'things that fucking ripped your asshole inside out like an anal inversion (or invasion) is........(i'd ask Keith Moon for a fucking CROOSHIAL solo here...if he wasn't dead) and YES the 1 crooshial thing is..............BUT before that shit...peep this

"barack obama muthafucka!!!"

Gotta take a dump.

pCe

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Wack Is Back!!!

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Merry Pissmas! Happy Poo Year!

The Rose City Condor is BACK BABY! Costanza style!

I'm sorry to keep all of you kids waiting for soooooo long. Some kid was totally spazzing and sent me an email with a single line that read:

"this is what happens when you make me wait!!!"

Attached was the following photo.

What a sick fuck!

So now we're rocking two thousand muthafuckin' NINE! The slogan this time around-'2009 this year is mine!' I'm hoping for BIG WANGS...err..I mean..BIG THANGS...to happen. I've started things right with a dietary cleanse. This cleanse consists of just rocking Slurpees, Flaxxx seeds and fucking BLARING Shalamar non-stop.

This will.

I received a mysterious call during work informing me that a certain store was just shut down for not payin' da rent. I immediately peaced out and had the Wyld couple follow me. I was fucking JACKED when before my Rose City Red Condor eyes I noticed an empty place, doors shut with a Termination Notice mentioning that the place was shut down for good.

In the words of DX...

SUCK IT!!!

(cue the Zach De La Rocha wannabe)

pCE!!!

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