E-Bike Niagara: Rose City Condor Red Condor Recap

Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Okay so if you were freakin' coldcocked last night by the Hurricane Miroslav-esque force of crucial quality television programming (Big Brother/Entourage/True Blood/MTVMVAs/US Open) then I'll danny the hammer time you should get for sleeping on the recent E-Bike info that is more detrimental than the ass exam that 'Stand Up 2 Cancer' was informing us to undergo.

I know son!!!

My thoughts exactly!!!

This shouldn't be confused with that other site 'stand Up 2 Prancer' which has the hulks of hollywood begging us to boycott the Weinsteins for ripping out 20 minutes on the new 'Prancer Returns:Revisited' which comes out on dvd tomorrow.

So if you're still some jib sticking your teeny wanger in the mashed potatoes, here's the rundown :

Around the way there were the scooter girls who were poppin' caps and johnny blazin' the streets of Thorold on their Razor . Always rip roarin' around like rip roarers or rural jurors (take your pick) on their sweet ride . Behold...the Razor Ramon of all mod bikes.

I wanted one but thought that I'd be pulling an Igor hunched all up on that shit. Although there are some chi in Niagara (Chi-agara if you will) who rock one of those lil teeny wanger 'Planet Terror' minibikes.

So whenever we were chillin' on the ver-anda of the Granny Pad the Scooter Girls would always zip by. For the longest time I've been to much of a huge vagina (with stink lines!) to rock a Vespa but always wanted one. And I was "too big" for the folks at Bigfoot to handle so ffwd a bit and BAMMMM! Like a Phoenix THE CONDOR has risen! And yes there have been insults. Yes there have been racial slurs regarding the red colour of the Condor's skin. Yes there have been cars swerving at me like Stuntman Mike. There has been a lot of Spandex Spicollis picking the spandex away from their sweaty testisacks. Porn moustaches that would put Tom Selleck or even RICK DERRINGER to shame are also in the mix. Oh yes, the E-Bike wave is spreading like a wave of high fives at Chopseys after hearing about the competitions incompetence. A new friend from around the Granny Pad way has fools frontin fly girls act material (pssst..he doesn't live at home with his mom) with what I call 'The BLUE Red Condor'