"it's just like a door handle on a car, it jams. It's just one of those things that happens over time. Like a car door, it jams and you just have to pop it back out. "Awesome advice in less than 2 seconds...wait for it...okay watch it here it come now....for all of you fellow E-bikers out there, don't worry about the dealership mechanics fixing a fucking jib faulty bike that you've only had for about 2 months, just take a screw driver, pry the shit out of it (as a Westside PFB mechanic would), and keep on jarbling about "it's one of those things that happens, it's common".????Who knew that all it took was some sibling support (and some WD40)So after leaving Westside PFB with a seat still fucking jib I venture cross the menace known as Niagara Street towards Elizabeth North. Trying to avoid the fucking North Tonawanda road styles I hear a car bomb go off. Then the Condor feels like she took a huge dump and the back end was now free of 50 or so pounds. What really happened was that Elizabeth North seems to be home to a lot of Rose City Roofers who just leave their tools and work related items scattered all over the fucking place. I ran over a nail and it took the Condor's tire right off the rim. After about 10 minutes of playing John Walsh trying to track down a family member who actually answers their home phone cell phone I figured I'd just strong arm the Condor across Niagara to rest at one of the Phat Kidz' crib at Elizabeth South (always bet on South AND Black). About 3 paces diagonally left there was some chi teen looking around all shifty as if he was waiting for a cream coloured K Car to drop off some killah Rose City Bud. Fuck do I ever know my home. A cream coloured K car (no Camaro) idles while the kid just keeps reppin' paranoia and Rose City Chiosity to the max. Dirty deals done dirt cheap. The Rose City Roofer Gas Huffer is just keeping six then comes over to give me a fucking increbible insight that blows Miss Cleo out of her jamaican hut of fantasy."Ah would you fucking look at that?!? Look at that Boss, you ran over a nail...took the tire right off the rim {no fucking shit....son} there's a lot of roofing been goin' on around here, some sloppy work I'd say. Then heads in to give his Chi Teen a blow jay.Fortunately another Rose City Roofer of a less chi stature earns his stripes and helps me carry the Condor to safety. At that time the role of John Walsh (fuck HIM for jibbing over Banzai) is no more and I was able to get a Bro Law tend to the Condor's needs. $150 or so later the Condor has a new back tire.Conclusion....shit's about to get real once again.2 man enter, 1 Condor leavepCe$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$The Rose City Condor$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Condor Gets Nailed
Thursday, October 9, 2008
E-Bike Identity Crisis On Infinite Earths
Sunday, October 5, 2008
horse...shit
Friday, October 3, 2008
Tard Swag
Yo, I've been receiving a tard cornicopia full of hate mail regarding the E-Bike Niagara Rose City Condor Blog and lack of E-Bike related stories. Well kids the fucking nonsense is about to change.
Last week the Condor and I had 2 slams back to back at work, 9-9 don't stop get it get it. There was a Manager's meeting in effect boyyyyyeeeeeee and I had to fill in the time slot. The 2 days were hectic but I was able to get something good out of the deal: free swag. Free shit that I assumed would most likely be exactly that - kife slabs on a triscuit. Not everything was utter doo doo on a skewer. Mostly just crap sitting around the warehouse (ie Shrek watches, Slipknot patches) and new releases that are being pushed big time (the new TV On The Radio, Sex In The Shitty DVD, Beetlejuice Anniversary edition). And some of most random shit that would put Banzai side by side with a Family Circus cartoon. The best was a single item placed in a clear Ziploc style bag with the opening folded and stapled like GI Joes at that fucking overpriced comic/toy shop on Yonge Street (8 fucking doll hairs for a scratched up Boba Fett with his back missle missing AND no weapons?!?!? W.T.Fuck?!). BEHOLD:
Third Post's A Charm (but only in 2x the speed)
and thennnn???????????????
PCE!
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Thursday, October 2, 2008
Rose City Egg Hunt
Annnnnnnd thennnnnn....or rather "aaannnnnddd dennnn..."
A Rose City Egg Hunt in the winter time!
PcE!!
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The Rose City Condor
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When It Rains Baby Jesus Is Crying
I struggled with this for the rest of the week. What is the cause of such bullshit pouring from the heavens above? What is the cause for such wetness fucking up my shit? I went to the dude at The Source hoping for an answer....fucking utter clown shoes. So I ventured to Chapters Indigo Online. The only thing 4 levels of Customer Service could tell me is that my Carpathian Forest record will have an additional 4-6 weeks of waiting time on top of the 3 I've already endured. the only thing I have in my pockets regarding the cause for the drops from above is chump change.
Resolved Question
Best Answer
branofwinterfell He also cries when you touch your wee wee.
So I will retaliate by throwing a copy of Slayer's South Of Heaven up in the sky as high as I can everytime he 'cries'. If ol baby jesus (not Big Baby Jesus...RIP) wants to take out my fucking sweet ride by crying all of the time hopefully I can at least do some damage on his fucking rectum with the help of Tom Araya, Kerry King, Dave Lombardo & Jeff Hanneman.
PcE.
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