Wednesday, December 10, 2008

More HC Than Punk-More Ebike Than Bike

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While I was admiring my Ebike and dreaming for the snow to melt so I could get reacquainted with the Spandex Spicollis something near and dear to my precious little heart came to mind--Why were Malikis Happy Corn Club more hardcore than punk??? After I snacked on 2 day old shitake maki rolls I was able to answer my own question (courtesy of geocities) Thanks Geo!
TOP TEN REASONS MALICKIS HAPPY CORN CLUB ARE MORE H/C THAN PUNK

10. MHCC have their own cult
9. lead singer of MHCC is thanked in a DAYGLO ABORTIONS releases' liner notes
8. GWAR features one of MHCC's copyrighted 8-note riffs in one of their songs (anyone know a good entertainment lawyer?)
7. MHCC have been around over 7 years, and have 10 releases to date
6. MHCC have gone through over 20 members, former members either mysteriously dissappearing, being killed in bizarre gardening accidents, or suicide by sickle.
5. MHCC have songs about DAVID BERKOWITZ, PAUL BERNARDO and KARLA HOMOLKA, JEFFREY DAHMER, JACK KEVORKIAN and CLIFFORD OLSEN.
4. due to MHCC's notoriety, they are banned from playing many of their local bars, are hated by non-racist organizations, and noticed by the MAFIA (for their song of the same name, which is a tribute of sorts to CASINO NIAGARA)
3. MHCC have cool band member names like: JOHN CORNHOLE, BRADO CREAMED CORN, JIMMY CRACKED CORN, ANDY CANDY CORN, and MARC o' the BEAST
2. MHCC band member BRADO recently pulled out and fired a gun numerous times at the co-host of a local family-friendly Cable Access show, let alone lesser acts such as saying naughty words on CBC's JONOVISION, and calling an FBI agent guest on the LATE LATE SHOW w/ TOM SNYDER a serial killer.
1. lead singer injures himself on stage, resulting in a truly unique outcome; trauma to the testes causing severe hematoma which developed cysts in the areas of the lower abdomen and scrotum, all linked to the right seminal vesicle (after an operation to remove the cysts, he was fortunate not to lose his right nut, although he already has enough balls)
The lead singer (pictured middle), Brado Creamed Corn, was later replaced by his twin brother

Chad-o Creamed Corn

pCe

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The Rose City Condor

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